Expect the unexpected. As with life, things don’t always go to plan

9 05 2013

As a pregnant woman, we’ve all been there.  We’ve all imagined our childbirth to be seamless, hoping and praying it’s short, and there’s no underlying problems.  I hoped this myself, but happened to get an extremely unexpected childbirth.

It all started a few days before I actually gave birth.  I was having what I would now consider real labor.  However, Theo was turned where his face was on my back.  This means that labor has a very hard time progressing.  Because of this, I had real labor…for days.  We went to the hospital several times and it wasn’t until a kind nurse realized that he was turned the wrong way.  They kept sending me home due to false labor, but it wasn’t false.  Finally, after 3 days of extreme pain and almost no sleep, my doctor kindly let me stay at the hospital!  She saw my pain and knew we needed to get this baby out soon.  However, because I was merely hours away from being exactly 39 weeks, the hospital basically was about to send me home again because they can’t induce labor until 39 weeks.  Thankfully, the nurses let me go on a long walk and my water finally broke.

So, thinking “this is it, my water has broken, and now the labor can truly begin!”  I was wrong, however.  20 hours later, I was fully dilated, but Theo was not in the birth canal like he was supposed to be.  I was supposed to be finally pushing, and he wasn’t there.  The doctor came in and looked at the charts for a long while.  Theo was starting to become distressed, along with some other signs such as his poop was in my water that had broken, which is all signs that he needed be out…right there and then.

You see, I didn’t want a C Section.  During my childbirth class, I tried not to listen in at that section in a sort of denial that it wouldn’t happen to me.  But, the fact was, due to my genetics (yay low on growth hormone!) and Theo’s big head genetics, there was actually no way he could fit through the birth canal.  We made the decision and an hour later, Theo was out and I got to see my baby!

There were times I felt guilty because I couldn’t have Theo naturally.  But the fact was, if it wasn’t for the C section, we wouldn’t be alive today.  The fact is, without that medical help, it saved our lives.  It was hard for me, because as I was in the hospital, a good friend of mine just had her child, completely naturally, at home, with no issues at all.  It was hard, because here I was sitting in extreme pain, drugged up, etc, and here my friend was already feeling mostly recovered.  But as a parent, you can’t compare yourself or your baby to others (a blog post on this later).  My friend and I had vastly different experiences, but now our sons are happy 9 month olds that are just a joy to be around.

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I also did not expect to have to supplement with formula.  You can read more on that in detail on my post, but just as a quick reminder, don’t feel guilty if you have to supplement.  It’s not evil.  It’s not bad for your child.  It can be very beneficial!  Theo had been supplementing since 2 weeks and completely weaned since 6 months, and he’s doing fantastic.  Only been sick twice, crawled early, sleeps well, and highly developed in his social and motor skills.  Don’t let people act that formula will make them sick all the time, or ruin their development.  It won’t and since I was on formula back in 80s (which formula wasn’t even as developed as it is now) and I turned out just fine (maybe a little crazy…but ya’ll love me anyways).  It’s fantastic to try and do everything naturally, but it just doesn’t work for some people due to medical reasons.  If I had tried to have my baby naturally, we would’ve died.  So I am thankful for these medical advances.  I think it’s important that we don’t judge our friends either way, whether they were able to have their baby naturally and breastfeed without issues, or if they had to have a c section and had to do formula or supplement.  And be open to whichever because you never know when sometime may occur that you might have to change your idea and course in terms of parenting.

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